For Fallina’s reading session 22, we realized that one hour is probably not enough when we are reading a difficult book like David Copperfield. I hadn’t made much progress with the reading during the week. Since Nina had just started the book, I somehow found myself a perfect excuse not to read during the week.

I guess for some challenging books, reading with someone else is a great motivation to actually keep going and finish the book, even if we do it slowly. But we will get there.

We shared our understanding of the plot. Luckily, despite the long sentences and all the unfamiliar vocabulary, which were challenging for both of us, we seemed to be on the same page when it came to understanding the story.

A Young Mother Who Needs Someone to Protect Her

David has a young, fragile mother who married too young and still seems to be looking for someone else to protect her and give her peace of mind. We think Mr. Murdstone wants the house, so he chose to marry the widow. Peggotty, on the other hand, is more sensible and mature, but as a servant, she can’t possibly change her mistress’s mind.

We could already imagine the misery that might come from a girl getting married at an age when she has no idea what marriage really means, and when she still relies on other people to make important decisions for her.

The struggle of being a young mother is universal, and we wondered: when she grows older, will she realize that she was manipulated? Will she ever realize that she has become an accomplice to a husband who hurts her own son?

I don’t know. Nina is not very hopeful about her changing. For me, I don’t quite know yet. I’ve seen women who managed to clear their minds and see things differently later in life, but I’ve also seen many who never realized what was wrong in their own lives.

But I guess either way, David needs to grow up on his own terms.

Growing Up With What We Are Given

I mean, in the end, we all have to learn to be okay on our own terms, whether we have good parents who give us an easier start in life or parents who are still struggling with their own unresolved issues.

Our parents may give us different starting points, but at some point, we all have to face our own battles and learn to deal with them ourselves. For those who grew up feeling loved and supported, that battle might be a little gentler. For those who didn’t, it could be much messier and more painful.

I can’t say I really blame the mother because we don’t know what it was like to live her life. If we were in her shoes, we might make some of the same horrible mistakes she did.

Everybody makes mistakes in their lives, some big and some small. But we should all try not to add extra misery to other people’s lives, because everybody is already carrying enough of their own.

Don’t Pass Your Pain On

That being said, we should still try to become better people. Don’t be like the anti-heroes in so many stories who hurt others simply because they were hurt before. Just because you were hurt doesn’t mean you can use your own pain to justify hurting someone else. If we all followed the same principle, maybe the amount of suffering in this world could be reduced little by little.

But I know how hard it is for people who hurt others to recognize what they are doing. They probably have their own reasons and justifications, just as we all do for our own behavior.

An Hour Wasn’t Enough

There is still so much more coming in the book. We only met for an hour, and that definitely wasn’t enough time to talk through all the ideas and feelings we had about the book. So we decided to meet an hour earlier next week.

I love how flexible we can be. We can read during the week, then meet on Friday afternoon before sunset and simply talk about what the book makes us think and feel.

Maybe that’s one of the best things about reading together at Fallina Bookclub.