What triggers your emotional fluctuations?

Is it the sudden malfunction of your phone, leaving you unable to reach anyone and engulfed in panic?—But haven’t you always aspired to embrace a tranquil life in the countryside?

Is it the disruption of all online activities due to the absence of your phone, throwing your daily plans into disarray?—But do you truly require your phone, music, or a gym to complete a simple 5km run?

Or is it the return from a lengthy vacation, necessitating your presence in places where work intersects and interactions with individuals you’d rather avoid?—Witnessing individuals compromise or conceal facets of their true selves for survival, including myself, induces panic—doubting the present activities I enjoy and all my meticulously crafted plans, all ultimately yielding to financial obligations, leaving me emotionally unsettled!

I apologize for my abrupt tone with a customer service representative due to my frustration. Unintentionally, I may have soured someone else’s day. Nevertheless, I eventually embarked on a 5km run, and post-exercise, I forgave both the world and myself. Now, I sit calmly by my bedside, typing away to meet today’s 1k words writing target.

My perennial source of anxiety stems from the inability of all my passions to sustain me presently. Consequently, I find myself allocating time to activities I dislike, engaging with individuals with whom I share little resonance, and leading a lifestyle akin to the majority. This isn’t what I desire! What instills fear within me is the possibility that this “temporary” phase may endure indefinitely, or worse, I may falter midway. Individuals typically harbor insecurities about ventures devoid of prior success. Undoubtedly, my writing reflects diverse facets of my persona, albeit not all are favorable.

However, the cathartic sensation of perspiration during a run is truly liberating. As I elegantly shed my sweat-drenched shirt on the treadmill, I feel like the sole inhabitant of the world, gracefully appreciating my solitary existence. Free from external intrusions, it’s a blissful sensation—unconcerned with the world’s preferences, solely focused on my desires.

Today, prior to embarking on my 5km run, I encountered numerous unforeseen setbacks, and during the run itself, contemplated relinquishing. Yet, I remained resolute: I love running, thus I persevered. Now, as I pick up my pen to fulfill today’s 1k words writing quota, the moment the pen touches the paper, both my body and mind revel in contentment.

I relish the act of documenting my emotions, the familiar yet gradually evolving strokes of my pen upon paper. I formulate plans, execute them, grapple with unforeseen setbacks, and experience bouts of frustration… Such is the fabric of an ordinary day, calmly embracing the ebb and flow of every emotion.

During the two-hour hiatus induced by my phone’s malfunction, I attended to various tasks on my computer, independent of phone support, and even devoted half an hour to practicing the ukulele (despite recent wavering enthusiasm)—these unexpected delights amidst adversity were a welcomed surprise. Previously, I harbored reservations about the potential distractions of working from home; however, I’ve come to appreciate the absence of commute and the comforting embrace of familiar surroundings. Consequently, I’ve begun to perceive within myself the potential for a literary vocation, relishing solitude and deriving fulfillment therein. The patience and tranquility I once deemed unattainable are gradually taking root within me.

Individuals possess the capacity to manifest their aspirations, provided they eschew premature apprehensions!

Even if your current pursuits seem devoid of certainty, if they genuinely imbue you with happiness, then they are unequivocally valid. Your time, your most precious commodity, is being invested with purpose and meaning.