It won’t be too late if you start now. Had my first-ever surfing class today. To be honest, I was enjoying it when the waves weren’t too bad to face. My fear faded as I fell but touched the ground.

But soon, I got my board hit someone’s board while standing up. It all happened in seconds—I got swept away by another wave after my fall and didn’t get to touch the ground. I was so panicked since I can barely swim in the swimming pool. At that instant, my survival instinct somehow got me back on the board. But after the trauma, the waves started looking bigger.

For a moment, I was sure I’d do this every day and was planning to get all that fancy surfing gear. But then—just as quickly as that confidence came—it started slipping away. I started checking myself, making sure I was still in one piece. My toe got a bit torn, but nothing too serious. I once ran a long distance and lost a toenail—I didn’t even care if it would grow back. Yet here I am, still worried, coming up with excuses to stop this whole surfing adventure!!!

1. My boyfriend is coming. Getting hurt is the last thing I want before our reunion. I need to play it safe.
2. The trainer didn’t seem to be paying enough attention to me. He was with another girl more. But I did like his way of just giving me ten minutes of theory, then pushing me into the water to face the waves. And the class was definitely longer than an hour.
3. I should probably save some money since I’ll be traveling for another month, and my clients are disappearing.

But should I just stop? I guess the ideal me wouldn’t. She’d push herself once more to conquer her fear. She’s something! Am I not her?

I don’t know. I want some ideas from my trusted boyfriend. The way he talks to me is always about my feelings—he never forces his opinions on me. I guess that’s why I love talking to him all the time. He’s some kind of wisdom guru to me. But he’s still sleeping. And it’s raining again. Another excuse to skip surfing—LMAO. But we all know the rain will stop soon.

(So good to write under my little towel cave I built for myself right now!!!)

All in all, surfing or wherever—I don’t mind, as long as I can keep thinking, writing, and breaking through limits. Whether I keep surfing or not, I am my ideal self. Life is a one-way trip. We can’t always dream of having it all. Whatever choice I make, I’ll like it! That’s beautiful, isn’t it?