Recently, I’ve been searching for a perfect pot of mint. I found one pot filled with soil and two pots halfway filled with soil and water. I looked for the perfect spot to place them and explored different propagation methods to encourage their lush growth. The recent conclusion is that mint doesn’t like direct sunlight and isn’t as easy to grow as it may seem.

Why did I suddenly have the idea to grow mint?

Many years ago, my boyfriend gifted me a hydroponic pot of mint. It grew uncontrollably in my college dorm, starting as a robust seedling and turning into a sprawling vine. Unfortunately, it grew weak and flimsy. The potted mint could never be a true vine, floating and swaying in water, even if it filled the entire container. The mint itself didn’t know that rapid growth would eventually deprive it of life, leading to malnutrition and withering. Potted plants can never escape the confines of their containers. We were once like that pot of mint, passionately in love, only to end up blind and muddy in the exhaustion of love’s depletion. After a long-lasting love ended, it felt like a death, but every death caused by love eventually leads to rebirth. However, the “you” and “me” after this rebirth no longer belong to each other.

Why do I want to grow mint again?

It’s because of recent travels and someone who enjoys mint ice cream. We are separated by vast oceans, residing on two different continents of this planet. For me, mint ice cream tasted like toothpaste during my travels. But when the strong mint flavor touched his lips, it transformed into a soft, refreshing sensation. I like the pot of mint that now sits in the corner of my bookshelf. It doesn’t attract pests with excess soil and doesn’t have an overpowering scent. However, I believe that anyone who enters will immediately notice its presence, just as when he was by my side, no one could ignore his existence. We were not just friends; we were two people bound to each other in a crowd, shining with the dim light of love for each other. That city was scorching, but I believe many people saw fireflies in the dark night. We are like fireflies flickering in the night sky! Now, the heat in my eyes is soothed by this pot of mint, and life continues as usual.

In reality, I am still searching for more mint, just as I spend a lot of time searching for a diary notebook. I firmly believe that certain things, once you set eyes on them, you know they belong to you and must belong to you. Yes, I have started writing in my diary again. By chance, I opened an old, worn-out diary from years ago, and a few faded rose petals and meaningless receipts fell out. Now, I don’t keep all the receipts and unnecessary things, but at that moment, I wanted to pick a mint leaf and press it into the book. I hoped it would leave a faint mint fragrance on the pages, just like the coolness you left on my lips.

Why do I want to document mint?

Perhaps because the branches of the propagated mint are right in front of my eyes, silently striving to break free from their withered state. I caused the premature death of a pot of mint due to hasty propagation, and another pot of mint, filled with soil, wilted on the windowsill from too much sun exposure. I am nurturing and destroying at the same time—it’s the rhythm of progress.

When I take care of the mint, I think of Lin Qingxuan and his book, Prose Collection of Lin Qingxuan Chinese meaning “Love the Clear Skies in Clear Weather and Love the Rain in Rainy Weather.” That book once brought me a sense of freshness in my moments of distress. Although I don’t remember his descriptions of each plant, now my mint has its own record, equivalent to that of Lin Qingxuan.

I’m grateful to the person who gave me the mint. They never considered my daily writings on paper as futile and pointless. Later, someone else mocked me for writing in a diary, but only now do I realize: it’s hard to encounter pure-hearted individuals when you’re walking through muddy paths! My journey is also accompanied by destruction—destroying everything that attempts to destroy me. Perhaps I will never fall in love with mint-flavored ice cream, but thank you for allowing me to see myself continuing to write on this journey.