“What exactly can lead a person out of a state of madness?”

Lately, I’ve been reminding myself to quickly put down on paper my thoughts about the book “Rose Madder” that I just finished reading, while the memories are still fresh. Surely, I can manage to write something.

This noon, waking up from a nap, all that floated in my mind was this question: “What exactly can lead a person out of a state of madness?” I didn’t wake up naturally, refreshed like in the morning. After the nap, I felt even more exhausted. Half-asleep, my mind was cluttered with various noises, not letting me fully wake up. The outside noise was trying to drag me out of my dream forcefully. Amidst this restlessness, I struggled to get up… and then, I suddenly remembered that book, “Rose Madder”. Stephen King wrote about a woman named Rosie who, after enduring 14 years of domestic violence, was awakened one morning by a drop of blood on the sheets and decided to leave her husband Norman. The story ends with Norman meeting a mysterious end in a painting—this isn’t science fiction, nor horror.

You wont believe it, in that fleeting moment of awakening, I felt Rosie’s 14 years of madness, imprinted on me in proportion, sending shivers down my spine. I believe you’ve experienced it too—feeling real pain in a dream yet unwilling to wake up and face reality.

Some might argue that half an hour of nightmare is incomparable to 14 years of nightmare. But weren’t Rosie’s 14 years spent moment by moment (I think it’s more likely minute by minute)? Why didn’t she choose to run away when the violence began?

Because Rosie loved Norman, at least when she was young; and she was completely dependent on him, without a job or her own social circle. She was trapped like a caged animal and eventually forgot: there are no fences outside the door, even if there is she could easily step over.

The depth of one’s love and dependence on another largely determines how shallow their love and dependence on themselves are—these two are inversely related. When one lacks the ability or can’t imagine how to love oneself, they choose to give that right to others. And those who possess that power often, like anyone with any other power, succumb to its temptations until they become slaves to power. Moreover, Norman was twisted from an early age. The story doesn’t delve into Rosie’s family much, but it’s not hard to guess that a young girl, with the initial desire to depend on others, is destined to lead a miserable life, targeted by beasts.

Norman couldn’t free himself from his madness, so he became even more terrifying than madness itself. But I still wonder, what truly can lead a person out of a state of madness? What made Rosie leave?

—Is it time? But isn’t time more likely to be like boiling a frog slowly?

—Is it that drop of blood? What does that drop of blood signify? Rosie was beaten until she miscarried, which would have resulted in ponds of blood.

…

After Norman’s death, Rosie once lived a happy life, but on a random day, she saw the shadow of madness in herself. So she went and planted a tree, bearing poisonous seeds, and only then did she truly walk out of madness at the end of the book.

I don’t want to specifically refer to “she” as a woman, but globally, especially in marital relationships, cases of women being cruelly treated are more exposed. Of course, men also experience domestic violence, like the highly publicized news about Depp and the actress who played the role of the Sea Queen a few years ago. Domestic violence is just one form of violence, and like many who endure tragic experiences, those who suffer violence don’t know how to escape. Nowadays, many people are actually experiencing silent violence, but they are oblivious to it.

Why do people work? Work is the greatest slaughter of the soul. People are domesticated by work, stabilizing social order, contributing to national progress, and sustaining themselves. But isn’t going to work every day with a heavy heart from nine to five a form of violence? How do we escape this inferno of existence?

With the increasing number of singles in cities, many excellent individuals can’t find partners. Even close acquaintances often can’t figure out why. How can people escape this curse?

What is freedom? Many people dare not even think about it. Without the immediate pressure of livelihood, most people lose their direction in the fast-paced social development. Not knowing why they live each day, there’s a sense of “having to” do anything or nothing at all. How do we break free from this situation and wake up refreshed every morning or evening?

…

Everyone encounters misfortunes. Rosie enduring 14 years of domestic violence from her husband Norman is unfortunate, just as it is unfortunate for us to go to work every day with resentment. But how do we lead ourselves out of this suffocating madness? You must agree, the accumulation of small madnesses in daily life is enough to break even the strongest beasts. So why do we endure it?

I think, fundamentally, we don’t know how to lead ourselves out of these crazy situations; we keep waiting for someone else to save us.

Even Rosie in the story needed to wait 14 years, needed friends, a place to stay, a job, and even a new boyfriend before she could finally let out the roar, just as she did in her youth. And we, we need money, time, the right person, and even good weather to consider starting our escape.

Have you ever thought that maybe all of this is just our weak human nature, continuously creating increasingly terrifying psychological constructs, leaving everyone feeling more and more exhausted and hopeless? This is “self-destruction”.

Perhaps being enslaved is less frightening than having to rely entirely on oneself. We don’t like changing the status quo, we’re not used to being taken from one place to another, even in a society with extremely convenient transportation, many people feel inexplicably nervous the night before going out. To escape from a state of madness, the first step is to “escape”—we can’t stay in one place. To kill madness, we can only become more mad than madness itself, like planting a poisonous tree to fight poison.

It’s time for you to plant that tree too, whether it grows well or not, you have to start nurturing a madness that belongs to you alone. Take out all the poisonous fruits in your body, one by one, with your own hands, and hang them on your tree.

Resentment towards stupid work

Fear of ending up alone

Unwillingness to give up the longing for freedom

…

Yes! Extract all these inner madnesses bit by bit, like a doctor picking up a scalpel to treat yourself. Ultimately, only you can lead yourself out of madness. No one is coming!

March 6, 2024