Yet another week passed without leaving much trace for me to remember.

I got into the second week of my annual travelling journey. My heart and soul started to feel more relaxed and settled into holiday mode.

I was no longer getting up at 5:30 AM in the morning when my alarm went off. Since, well, I’m on holiday, I think. So I allowed myself to sleep and wake up whenever my body felt like it.

Actually, the feeling was great, and I know I am in control of this game. If I want to get back to rising early, I still can. During my 75 Hard challenge, I got up consistently at 5:30 every morning for 75 days.

I started to have more faith in myself, and I understand better why people need to challenge themselves from time to time—to build that sense of control over their own lives.

Falling Back Into Old Patterns

I can still remember the low point from last week. A friend came to visit, and I felt that I wanted to stick with him more than focus on my own daily schedule. I missed most of the plans I had made for myself just to keep someone company.

To be honest, I don’t feel lonely most of the time when I’m by myself. But I wonder why, as soon as someone joins me, I start to become the old, needy version of myself again.

So, did I actually enjoy the company? Not really.

I just slipped into autopilot and followed someone else’s plans instead of thinking for myself whenever there was someone around. I don’t know if you understand.

But that feeling of escaping one’s own life can sometimes feel addictive.

I still notice that tendency in myself. I’m not too worried because I know I simply need to keep paying attention to those old habits.

Small Reminders of Growth

Still, there was a high note that week.

While we were hanging out, we came across a gym. I was wearing a cute dress and hadn’t stepped into a gym since I started my trip at the end of March. So I went in and trained my arms anyway.

I didn’t sweat much, and I was even wearing slippers, but the feeling of training myself brought me overwhelming happiness and a great sense of achievement.

At that moment, I realized that although I still have some bad habits, such as craving human connection too much, I have also built some good habits along the way.

I’ve been changing and evolving into a better version of myself.

Here, I simply want to document these moments of highs and lows, hoping that they inspire me—and maybe inspire you as well.

Thank you for following along.

See you next week.