Thanks for letting me be myself! I know the June of 2024 is gone forever. But thanks for the companionship that helped me grow into a better version of myself.

I got back in the beginning of June from my trip feeling exhausted and struggling to focus. There were so many wonders that happened during my trip. But routine life is what keeps me on track and prevents me from getting lost on what I truly want to achieve in life.

There were periods of time during June where I didn’t feel like doing anything at all. When I didn’t feel like reading, I’d just drop the book and head straight to sleep. I’m not quite sure when the exact turning point was, but I stopped hating myself for not achieving anything. I don’t push myself too hard anymore because I trust myself to nurture the curiosity and resilience to immerse myself in reading again. I ended up finishing 3 books in June. I love to read and I will always hold onto the “Books” trinity for my New Year’s resolution. I’m a bit behind schedule since my original plan was to read 4 books per month, but turbulence and things out of control can be interesting as well.

I worked out a lot, since moving my body truly makes me happy. There was a period of time where I wanted to conquer depressing feelings by staying quiet with my feelings, but it didn’t make any progress. If exercise is my genes’ way of manipulating me to feel better, I surrender to it. I used to feel frustrated and meaningless knowing that a lot of our behaviors aren’t spontaneous choices, but genetically chosen by whatever’s inside our bodies. Now, I let go by not trying to control my life. I actually feel that I’m more powerful by being myself. There may be the ultimate superpower controlling humanity in all, but my trivial, normal, ordinary life is all for me to enjoy. I can easily stick to the “Miles” trinity since I do love sweating and just being with myself while sweating, hearing the wild breeze and music pods.

I know, I know. I need to work on my dream more consistently. The feeling of not knowing how to start or not daring to start still haunts me when it comes to writing. I don’t have that strong faith in myself being a writer yet, but I have faith in my exsitance, and I will try to nurture more courage to start.

All in all, June was another great month well spent in my short, fabulous life. I exist for a reason, no matter what that reason is. I embrace the possibilities. Of course, there are moments I feel unloved and stressed. But all emotions are normal and a gift to us. Don’t be afraid if you’re alone or unhappy. Life is overall an experiment. Dig into your sorrow and taste it. Blessings to those who make you laugh and motivate you to love life again and again and again.

To the utmost, love yourself more than anyone could possibly love you. If nobody sees your spark sparkling vividly alone, well…

Oh, I just got the ideal name for my new bike, “SPARK”! Thanks to my greatest brother, who got me the gift I wanted. May you have a sparking life, each and every day well spent.