Lately, I’ve been drilling myself with questions. Why this constant urge to conquer my daily to-do list? Why am I glued to tracking my 2024 resolutions? Is it just about checking boxes, or is there a deeper purpose fueling this fire?

A friend texted yesterday, curious about my new book. I smugly bragged about devouring two books in a week. But then he hit me with, “Your New Book,” and my heart skipped a beat.

Yeah, I sheepishly confess I started writing a dating and relationship book last week. Here’s the thing: last week, I only managed to write on 3 out of 5 days I “ticked the box” for writing. This week? Just one measly day. Ugh. It’s like those guys who can’t commit – that’s exactly why my book’s called “Longing for Long-Term.” Dating’s been a revolving door, and a committed relationship feels like a distant dream. That’s why I haven’t told anyone – self-doubt’s a real beast.

The truth is, even telling my closest friends about my writing dreams took years. Maybe it’s the same reason for tracking resolutions – a way to dodge or nurture self-confidence? Since I started tracking, it’s glaringly obvious: we tend to avoid the most crucial things. For me, it’s to write that stupid book of my own! Deep down, I crave a life free of struggle, a life where I can express myself freely. But as you can see, I’m rocking the “good at” list, while the “need to brave” list gathers dust.

You probably feel this manipulation in your life too, right? Like me, stuck on stupid projects, some days just wanting to crawl back under the covers. I finally registered my company, but the paperwork keeps multiplying. I waste time worrying and prepping for goals instead of taking a step back to avoid future headaches. Here’s the thing: there’s no outside force manipulating us. It’s us, grappling with uncertainty and fear. We create these stupid problems for ourselves! It’s not about circumstances ganging up on us – it’s us going against ourselves.

But hey, listen up! We are capable of achieving anything we dream up. The only reason we fall short is because we waste time and energy on the wrong things, the wrong guys, the wrong to-do lists.

My point here isn’t that resolutions are useless. They’re my plans, my roadmap. I should know better than anyone what truly matters, the boxes I absolutely can’t miss. It’s not just about daily exercise or two-hour reading sprees (although those are important too). It’s about my core dream: becoming a writer, free from distractions, with the freedom to live life on my own terms. That’s the real deal. Everything else – staying healthy, having energy to work, staying informed, experiencing love and loss – it all fuels my writing, makes it human, gives it warmth.

Most importantly, it’s about learning to love. Loving the annoying tasks I set for myself, even when I feel overwhelmed. Learning to be okay with uncertainty, even when someone might not be sure about me. Their loss, not mine! Because in the end, it’s all about dare to love.