The week before my period is always tricky. I did do all the workouts every day and keep my 75 Hard Challenge still. But there was one night last Thursday. I couldn’t fall asleep until 4. I tried reading (that usually helps), journaling, and crying, but nothing seemed to work. Then I let it be.

Thoughts on Guys

The following morning I felt exhausted but also refreshed. I’ve been pondering love a lot, and I can see those guys who only want to sleep with me but have no intent to build a serious relationship. I am not going to lie that there are moments where I doubted about myself: Is it because I am not good enough or there are some problems within me that I didn’t see? I even asked my Siri the same question; what he searched for me online was nothing even related to my doubt. I busted into laughter. It was stupid, I know, but knowing people can be stupid from time to time feels funny.

I don’t blame guys. I know whatever happened in my mind is the full responsibility of myself. By focusing on your own life, you can solve 95% of the problem. But since we are not living in the vacancy, there are chances others behavior will trigger some deep, long-lost fear or emotion in you. Don’t be afraid. Don’t blame yourself for not learning the lesson or not changing into a better version. You did great even if you were crying later at night. Allow yourself to be. Accept all the versions of yourself. Trust me, you’ve changed and made a whole lot of progress by just being here today.

You’ve Growed; Don’t Doubt That

We’re growing more resilient as we are aware of our weakness and trying to live with it no matter what. For me, I used to define myself as a “hopeless romantic,” but one day I read a quote that says, “No romanticism is ever hopeless!’ Yes! Being romantic is a gift blessed by God. Don’t condemn yourself just because the others are not as romantic as you are. You are lucky to be gifted as a romantic person. And you’ve read all those books and stories to grow into such a person who strongly believes in love nowadays. Not everybody went through that process. Not all saw what you’ve seen. So don’t blame them for not having the ability to love. The real world is cruel. But love exists somewhere. You should always dare to be the lighthouse who beams love and is not afraid of getting hurt. You’re a treasure. 

Dare to Love and Speak Out
I started to think, Why do I keep recording my New Year Resolution 2024? I shouldn’t have been focused on my daily to-do list alone. I need to be more brave and honest with myself. Being disciplined is not being boring, but rather through doing positive daily acts, we gain more freedom in life and in our thoughts. There are people who pray those empty prayers. reading “The Secrete” in the hope to attract good things in their lives. They’re all good methods, but down to the earth and to yourself. What did you do to deserve those blessings? Actions speak louder!

If you want love, love others like you would love to be loved. 
If you want business success, work hard on your business instead of going out partying all night, and leave God alone to fulfill your prayers. 
I want to be a writer. So I need to write what’s in my mind and on my heart and keep the consistency. I need to be more brave in speaking out my feelings and emotions. 

No worries if you feel down too. Let it be and stay with yourself. Everything will pass; stick to being and doing things you determined are good for your dream.

Have a good one!