A week passed by without me actually achieving anything. Lagging on tons of work & didn’t go running for a week. I can still feel the weakness in my body & mind, but I managed to get up for the day.

I. Feeling the weakness in the bone

Don’t ever get sick. Even if you were sick. Picture the sickness weaker & you yourself stronger. I know it takes a strong mental power. We all need to work on that power on those good days to become more resilient in fighting back on bad ones.

I can feel myself under pressure since I missed a week in training for my marathon. I know I took this too seriously, but since this is my first ever full marathon, I need to be mentally ready for finishing it. At the moment, I’m not! I can picture myself struggling to the finish line, even giving up on the way.

I know people tend to worry about the worst. And I understand the urge is quite hard to suppress. I journal & talk reasons to myself, but still physical weakness weakens the mind sometimes.

II. Reset and reset

The good thing is I got plenty of rest & worried less about anything or anyone else except for my own well-being. That’s kind of cool. Hope even on my good days, I can always remember to put myself at the 1st consideration in life.

I read much more for the past week. In my cozy bed & during naps. My period didn’t bother me much since I got other pains that dominated the stage. Anyway, things are getting better, I think. I need to reset myself and get back to training my body and mind for another crisis to come.

I guess this is life. Battles after battles, intertwined with some happiness & good memories for hard days. Overall I feel blessed. Nothing really bad happened as I worried while sitting waiting for the result at the hospital. People get sick, minor or major; we all need to survive it.

Getting into the last month of December. I dreamed of having cute babies and a house full of love. I guess in the end all we need is peace with the world & ourselves. Stick there & don’t feel hopeless or desperate, even if life is tough.