The only thing that didn’t blur away from last week was I did my 30 km running training for the full marathon training. which was brutal and cold to the core of my head. I didn’t feel any excitement after finishing. Only worn out & extremely tired. I don’t know if I can finish that 42.95 km in January. Whatever in the future is in the future. I am done with the long train run. I won’t go for any training longer than 20 km before the racing day. Hope resting more will work out magic in some way. Fingers crossed!

I. Do You Want a Hibernation Too? 

Last week was pretty cold all along. I could feel myself recovering from illness and pain finally. I stayed in bed a lot reading my books & trying to catch up with my 50 books read for 2024. But I probably won’t do that, so I took reading as always—for enjoyment!

I’m currently reading the book called My Year of Rest & Relaxation. The life of a woman could be tough, even if she was born beautiful. It seems that there is always something missing for everyone. I feel blessed since whatever is missing in me is not major. I’m pretty happy & healthy, both physically & mentally.

Just today the feeling of valuing my time & energy hit me strongly to the core. I need to live the life as I always wanted to live. Not until I’m rich. I’m married. My dream life exists only now and here. Not somewhere else, not in some stupid, who-knows-when future.

I’m doing great by not wasting time or energy on whoever is not worth my attention, and I enjoy being alone doing my own stuff. Keep my daily routine & set small little challenges here & there only to amuse & motivate myself. I found people around me hanging out with so many just to keep themselves accompanied all the time. I feel sorry for them.

II. Don’t Give Up on Hope

I’m not giving up on being with someone. Met a guy I swiped right on Bumble months ago. He mentioned something about never giving up hope. If I were there in the wish to meet someone special, there must be some guys thinking in the same way as I do. We need to try and, at the same time, keep a casual & fun mindset.

The dating app used to make me frustrated, and I can feel ashamed of using that for certain purposes. But I started to see that whatever I choose to do is up to my choice & mindset. I could take it too seriously, and then there would be lots of pressure. On just as a channel to get to know people when I want to. You won’t believe how much your mind will affect your overall happiness. I feel very happy & content now. Though I’m not rich, I’m not loved by anyone yet. But I’m free in spirit, and I love myself dearly. 

III. Write Because I Am Loving It

For matters of my heart, I still want to be that kind of writer. Recording & hopefully motivating others in living their life truly & bravely.

Christmas is coming. Nobody is coming, but I feel so assured that this year everything is becoming more peaceful with me. Last year at Christmas, I ran away for my first half-marathon to prevent myself from thinking about someone or something that is missing. But not any more.

Nothing is missing in me. I’m healthy & happy. That’s all I ever wanted & all I would ask for. Hope you find your contentment & peace as well.