Week 8 was not as strong of a high, but with a few gentle lows. Getting back to routine life after the holiday takes a bit more effort to get the mood back. Most of last week I was simply trying to return to my desk work and write with a more serious mindset. Luckily, it wasn’t too difficult. I guess even during the holiday I was still doing my 75 hard challenge, so the discipline never really left.

There were afternoons when I felt extremely sleepy and didn’t want to get up from a long nap. But the challenge was always rooted in my mind. I even set an alarm in case I slept through the whole afternoon and missed my consistency goal. Waking up from a long nap actually felt harder than getting up at 5:30 a.m. in the morning. But I still did it. The process can feel unbearable sometimes. Yet once you walk through that small torture, the sense of accomplishment is incomparable.

Life moves on. The lazy holiday vibe is nice once in a while, but I like myself more when I have daily activity and a productive rhythm.

As usual, I’m sharing one high note and one low note from the past week. I hope the natural rhythm of life somehow resonates with you.

High Note: A Gift for My Brother

The high note from last week was that I mailed some gifts to my brother. The gifts were actually given to me by a friend, and I didn’t really need them. But the first person I thought about was my brother.

I used to be someone who cared more about being popular with friends. Whenever I had something, I would often choose to share it with friends rather than family. There’s a very old memory from many years ago. I once got a free can of Coke, but I gave it away to a random friend so he would think I was nice and cool.

My little brother was probably six or seven at the time. Back then, having a Coke wasn’t an easy thing. People were poor, and kids didn’t have much allowance for candies or snacks. I still remember the disappointed look in his eyes. The other sisters all brought their Coke home to their younger brothers. I was the only one who gave mine away to someone else. I’ve never forgotten that moment. Now my brother is married and has a son. He doesn’t need anything from me anymore. But I think I will forever remember that can of Coke I didn’t bring back for him.

Last week when I mailed the gifts to him, he texted:
“Thank you, dear sister.”

I don’t know why, but that moment made me feel so attached and warm.

It was a very different kind of high note compared to previous weeks. The love between my brother and me feels so pure and strong. It gives me a deep sense of security.

Sometimes I still wonder when my true love will show up. But when I look back and see all the beautiful things I already have in life, I feel incredibly blessed and grateful. In those moments, I even forget the longing for that one special love. And I truly enjoy that feeling.

Low Note: Doubts About Love and Marriage

The low note from last week was also about love. Not about a specific man, but about relationships in general. Maybe it’s because spring is coming. I can’t control the sudden emotions of wanting a man in my life. But strangely, most of the men I know… I don’t really like them.

I met an old friend recently. He’s married, and he casually mentioned that he and his wife don’t have sex very often anymore. He said it like it was completely normal. I don’t know why, but hearing those kinds of realistic stories about marriage discourages me. I can’t help wondering whether true love actually exists. Even after being together for many years, do people still love their partner the way they did in the beginning?

Hearing these “realities” made me feel disappointed. And I found myself asking: if that’s the truth, then what’s the point? If that’s really how things turn out, I could easily just follow the common path — find a man and get married like everyone else.

But no. I can’t do that. Even when reality feels overwhelming, I still can’t give up the small possibility that someday I might meet the person I’ve always imagined. I’ve always wanted someone who truly loves me. And honestly, for that kind of love, I would trade the world. I’m not even sure if that kind of love really exists. But I simply can’t force myself to settle.

Sometimes my mind gets lost thinking about something so abstract. But I know I will eventually bring myself back on track. No matter what the world keeps telling me, I will remain hopeful about love. I may fail. But I won’t surrender.

That was the high note and the low note from my last week. How about yours?