Nina found us a cute little coffee shop in the middle of nowhere for Secret Fallina Bookclub reading event number 4 . It’s like a desert rose, full of surprises. The bakery inside smells amazing, and it’s called Ms. Angela. I couldn’t help but wonder if the owner, Ms. Angela, is married or not. She seems to be living every girl’s dream life—I can’t even count how many of my friends have talked about opening a coffee shop. But she also seems incredibly busy. The whole time we were there, she was in the kitchen, baking, making coffee, and preparing juice.

Nina and I walked into the café, and out of nowhere, we spontaneously decided that this week’s reading topic would be Wuthering Heights and Marriage—since we’re currently around Chapter 15. Isabella’s decision to marry Heathcliff in that chapter is a pivotal moment that changes her life forever. As we started discussing the book, it led us to reflect on marriage itself, both in the context of Wuthering Heights and in our own experiences. So, we decided to dive deeper into the topic of marriage for this week’s discussion.

Marriage and Its Timing: Reflections on Wuthering Heights and Modern Life

The first question we pondered was: is it wise to step into marriage too early, too soon? Honestly, I’m not sure what my life would look like if I were married that early. I once had a first love, and we were so close to getting married right after college graduation, but we ended up splitting. At the time, I didn’t really understand why it happened. It didn’t feel like there was any major conflict between us, but I was just too miserable to imagine spending my life with him forever. We dated on and off for seven years, but looking back, I realize that we never figured out how to make a relationship work in marriage. I’m not sure how things would’ve turned out if we had married that young, but I wouldn’t trade my current life for that one.

Nina also shared her proposal story. At the time, she and her boyfriend were separated by continents. The only way for them to be together was for her to get married. Then, her boyfriend—now her husband—proposed. It wasn’t the most romantic proposal, but it felt very practical. Still, it touched me deeply. I had been in a similar international relationship where visa issues stood in the way of us being together. I kept expecting him to bring up the topic—like, “Let’s get married so we can move in together,” even if it was just a joke. But he never said it, not even once. And honestly, even if he had, I might not have said yes—because I know marriage is about more than just love. But the fact that he never even brought it up left me feeling let down. So, in hindsight, his silence was a red flag. Maybe there was love between us, but not enough to overcome the challenges that marriage would have demanded.

Wuthering Heights and Marriage: Comparing 19th Century Roles to Today’s Expectations

We then reflected on the roles of women, comparing life in the 19th century—when Wuthering Heights was written—to life now. Back then, a woman’s goal was clear: find a man, get married, and be a good wife. Today, women are more likely to pursue their own careers—becoming lawyers, doctors, artists—things that would have been unimaginable for women in the 19th century. But standing in our shoes today, as modern readers, would we want to trade our lives for those of the women in the book, who could marry wealthy men, live in fancy houses, and host afternoon tea parties every day, focusing solely on their husbands and children? We’re not sure. But Nina and I both agreed that we wouldn’t trade our modern lives. Even though finding purpose as a modern woman can be daunting, the idea of becoming someone’s wife isn’t as appealing as it once was. Being a wife isn’t a career option anymore.

Do we sometimes imagine living that old-fashioned life, in that old-fashioned style? Sure, we do. But perhaps it’s just a way for us to experience something different through reading, while still holding onto and cherishing the life we have now, more and more each day. As readers, we feel fortunate to be able to enjoy both perspectives.

A friend texted me and said Wuthering Heights is one of his favorite books. I’d love to hear his thoughts on it someday, but for now, the reading club event is over for this week. We go back to our own lives until next time.

What would surprise our minds and souls for Fallina’s next meet up? Or what would you like to discuss about this book? Comment below, and let’s read together again soon!

If you’re interested in exploring more books about love and women, I’ve put together a list of some of my favorites. You can find my curated collection on my Amazon page. Visit my page to shop and discover some great reads that dive deeper into these themes!