As I sat down to write my weekly review, it felt like I was trying to finish some school assignments before a new semester started. Then I realized that nobody had been leaving homework for me for a very long time. Then I smiled.

I am the one leaving homework for myself now— writing weekly reviews and reflecting on my own life. I am now both the teacher and the student of my own life.

Celebrating Myself 34

Last week’s high was my birthday.

I waited until midnight to wish myself a happy birthday and posted all over my social media to celebrate my 34.

There were many years when I expected someone else to celebrate my birthday for me. Only recently did I realize that I can be the one who genuinely feels happy about my own birthday. When we cut off expectations from others, we feel happier and more in control.

I genuinely love documenting my life on social media—not for anyone else to see, but for myself. To keep memories.

I want myself to be happy not only on my birthday, but happy every day. The feeling of not needing anyone’s permission to be happy is amazing.

Re-Raising Myself

As for the low note, I guess it was about my birthday too.

My parents sent a red packet as they do every year, but I didn’t feel loved. Actually, we don’t express love much. For a long time, I thought my need for love was somehow abnormal. Gradually, I decided to allow myself to be abnormal.

I cried when I saw the red packet. It felt like the candy I wanted as a teenager, but arrived years too late. And I cried because, after all these years, I finally started allowing myself to be emotionally needy.

Not judging her.

Not fixing her.

Just holding her.

I think I am finally capable of doing that.

Happy 34 to myself!

I will love her forever and ever, without any conditions.

I hope you do that for yourself, too!

Until next week~